Today, I want to discuss something that is hovering over my mind from a past few days. I am a woman in my 30s, married and have a full-time job. But does this makes me independent like my peer male fellows?
Lately, I came across a debate on Feminism on a social platform. The argument was simple, “Who is a real and a fake feminist”? This made me think- Who is a feminist?
I was born and brought up in a very progressive family. My father focused on his three children’s education, irrespective of their gender. Is my father a Feminist?
While growing up, I often had opinion battles with people who thought women should follow a particular decorum. They should sit, talk and walk like “ladies”. I never understood, what being lady-like is? Am I a Feminist?
When a girl gets married, the first expectation of her in-laws from her is to be a good daughter-in-law. By that, they didn’t mean she has to love them. Love is mostly optional unless she is too lucky. But it actually means she has to cook trice a day, wake up early, entertain them and take unconditional care of everyone. No matter, if she is working 8-10 hrs day. Ultimately, she is identified as someone’s wife and daughter-in-law. Well, these expectations are what Indian minds are trained for. From centuries, Indian women are seen as mere caregivers. Whereas husbands here, are the receiver of unlimited respect, sometimes a lot more than they deserve.
I too had to meet with some of these expectations, but luckily enough, my husband is a pure angel. He stood by me in every such instance and made a place for me, where I am not just a caregiver but a life-partner. Is my husband a Feminist?
Today, I see many of my friends and family, having children and extending their family. I, on the contrary, can only think about my career as of now. I am often told to bear a child as I am at “that age” now. Are my friends less or more, Feminist than me?
So the question remains the same, who is a True Feminist? Someone who understands a female, someone who supports a female or someone who expects a female to stand honest on the standards set for her by society.
As far as my understanding goes, there is nothing like being a Feminist. Why do we have to divide society into male and female roles? Why can’t we all become humanist? Why can’t we treat male and females alike? In my perspective, a true human allows another human to flourish, no matter what the gender is. I think when everyone would be given the right and liberty to lead the life they expect and deserve, this whole debate would end. So, in my opinion, if we put our efforts in becoming humanists, there won’t be any need to become a feminist. But until then, everyone who allows a woman to be a human and realize her dreams is a Feminist.
My understanding of the topic is not too precise and there might be chances that my take on the subject is unacceptable for others. I understand the sensitivity of the subject and apologize with all my heart if I have unintentionally offended someone. But in all cases, I would like to know more about it. So, please share your thoughts and educate me more. Loads of love.